Smooth Seas Don't Make Skillful Sailors

Late Tuesday evening I quietly eased out to the cemetery. It was quiet out there and there was no one else out there. I was visiting my sons grave on the 12th anniversary of his death. As I sat there I thought about the amount of time that has passed since that day and how life changes so quickly. Change happens slowly but sometimes it happens in a moment. Life can change so quickly that if your not anchored, you can be swept away. Don't believe me? Ask the people that hear these words. "You have cancer." "We're having a baby!" "There's been an accident." "We're getting married." "We are going to have to commit you for a period of time." "We want to run a few more test.". All of these have changed someone I personally know this month. As I sat there thinking about these people who are going through these things right now I was reminded about what I was thinking about. Other people and their lives and the changes they are dealing with.It made me smile. Instead of the focus of my mind being on me and my little pity party, I found myself praying for those around me that are struggling right now. That's a product of being loved by God who has given us guarantees. He has guaranteed our future, if we believe in Christ. He has promised us that the dead will be resurrected. (John 5:28-29) That's what I was lacking after Wyatt died. A belief in the guarantees that God has made. I was not anchored. I was just out there un-tethered and adrift. I believe that's what happens to a vast majority of believers and non-believers. Its all good in life when things are sunny and easy but when those storms hit, the skills needed to navigate those rough waters are non-existent.   The old saying goes "Smooth seas don't make skillful sailors."  A life without problems and pain doesn't exist. There are patches of smoothness and patches that are rough and patches that you can't imagine how to navigate. Its there that you learn how to really sail through these problems. "Sail" Really Chad?  Yes. Sailing whether or not the water is calm or rough. No matter the circumstances. Follow me. What if God allows these storms to come through your life in order to affect someone else?  What if your story, better yet, your experience, is designed to inspire and show people God's love in your life?  What if you are in a storm that is very difficult but how you deal with it is a testimony to those on the outside watching? Christians are always being watched. Watched to see how we deal with storms in our own life. Watched to see if we will fail. Watched to see if God will move in our lives. Watched to see God. They use us as a sort of gauge. Does that mean we are perfect? No. Does it mean we will fail at times? Yes we will and do fail at times but God is always there with us. That's what people really want to see. God moving in our lives. So no matter the storm, stay in the boat and learn the skills to navigate the storms.

Tears on the Altar

            I was recently in the alter praying with a friend who is going through emotional time in his life. Having been through the same thing I could understand and sympathize with him. After we prayed as we got up I noticed his tears on the altar. I didn't think anything about it at the time, I just noticed them. I was talking with someone the other day and they asked if I thought God really heard their prayers. That image of those tears came flooding back into my mind. I answered Yes that God hears us cry out and the Bible is clear about this point. Twice we read about David crying out to God. "In my distress I called upon the Lord and cried out to my God. He HEARD my voice from His Temple, and my cry ENTERED His ears." 2 Samuel 22:7 and Psalms 18:6. Here it s clear that God does hear our cries. He does see our tears left there on the altar. How cool is that? God hears my cries. Sees my tears and pain and cares about me.
               In today's time there are so many people crying out about all types of topics. Divorce, disease, death, poverty and so many problems. So much hurt, so many tears. There seems to be more and more hurt and heartache today than ever before but God hears our cries, sees our tears and loves us enough that he sent His only son to die for us.
              I thought about my friend and his tears. I've seen what God is doing in his life and through his pain. The trust to cry out to God and to know he hears and responds is, to me, one of the most beautiful things about a relationship with God. A relationship is about being there for the other in the times of need. What's cool is how God is ALWAYS there for us. There are time's in my life where I just went it alone, sought no help or counsel from God and those have been disastrous. Had I sought Gods wisdom by relying on our relationship then things would have turned out different. There's the point. A relationship with God develops trust that He has your best interest in His plans, "HIS plans" not our own plans. In a time when so many are afraid to approach the altar of God, because of what they may find there,  the need to develop that relationship is at an all time high in this world. He cares, He loves, He hears, He's there at all times. Those tears left on the altar matter to Him. They are a sign that you trust him enough to lay your burden at His feet and that he will respond.

Lust

Lets look at the third thing that men struggle with the most, lust. We discussed ego/pride and greed and their effects on us. Now let's talk about lust. When you hear that word you immediately think of sexual lust. Lets face it men, its the one that's in our face the most. Look around. We are surrounded by sexual images, sexuality and an outright assault on all our senses. The movies, music, tv, ads, books, magazines and billboards are all dripping with sexuality. Escaping that imagery is impossible. Its everywhere. As I was walking through the mall there was a Victories Secret ad that took up the whole window. It was a scantly clad woman of course. Right there for everybody to see and to e honest, she was attractive. I looked. I'm a man, its part of my DNA. I however didn't linger there nor had I thought about it again until now. That's the way to handle that situation. Heres an old pearl of wisdom, " You can't prevent birds flying over your head but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair." That means this, although temptations will cross your eyes, ears and thoughts, you don't have to allow them to stay there. You don't have to think about that attractive girl you saw but for the moment you saw her.  Continue to think on it and it becomes a rabbit hole. You will chase those sexual images until your appetite can not be satisfied because your appetite will grow and grow with prolonged exposure to sexual imagery. Its all around us.
Ok ladies, now I am going address you. The world tells you that you have to look a certain way, be a certain size, wear certain clothes and all that nonsense. The media wants to sex you up but then tell you that sexiness is a shallow pursuit. In our church these days women are dressing more and more sexy. At church. A friend shared an article with me about lusting after women you see and their roll in that scenario. Short skirts tight pants, low cut dresses and sexy outfits have become the "norm" in our church today. Dressing sexy in order to draw a mans attention is excepted in todays society but at church, I would hope not. Don't believe me? Look around Sunday at church, then report back.  It may make you think.

"Greed is good!"-Gordon Gecko

" Greed is good!" I'm sure that most people have heard that from the 80s movie Wall Street. Gordon Gecko utters those words and you believe him. We see that good old fashion greed is still at work in todays society, although it s changed slightly since the 80's aka Decade of Decadence. I told you I had been to a mens conference recently and that Ego, Greed and Lust are the main issues men face today. We covered ego, now onto greed.
 We are greedy little people. Each and every one of us. Greedy about different things, sure. Some are greedy with their money. Some are greedy with their time. Some are greedy with their talents. Why? Now I'm no therapist but I think greed stems from insecurities. We as a society have them. We as Christians have a boatload. As a non believer you have a boatload of them. I don't make enough money. I'm not a good enough speaker. If people at church knew my past they might stone me. If people knew what I struggle with they would stay away from me. I'm too fat. I'm too short. I cant sing. My house is old. My car is so old Dave Ramsey would be proud. My clothes are so outta date I cant go to church wearing them. I've been married and divorced several times because all these women are crazy, I'm sure its not me. How about this one. A man that is so insecure that they have to know every move their wife or girlfriend makes? Sure those insecurities are easy to spot. What about those everyday insecurities?  Or how about "Little Man Syndrome"?  A term used for a short guy who has insecurities about his height. See they are all around us. They lead us to be greedy. We have to camouflage our insecurities with "things." Those things start to define us. We are what we have. Without those things who are we?
Greed is pushed on us in America in form of the American Dream. Bigger, Better, Faster. We are sold those bill of goods hook, line and sinker. Do good, make money, buy a bigger house, buy a bigger car, move outta that neighborhood and into a better one. buy better clothes, faster phones and technology(guilty). All that leads to is debt and greed. The Dream in reality puts us in debt and makes us "servants to the lender." That's a wise  Proverb but as a country and society we have left that principal far behind. As a country we are further in debt than we have ever been. As an American household the average credit card debt is $15,270, mortgage debt is at $149,925 and student loan averages are at $32,258 per household. Those numbers are staggering but not uncommon. There is the problem. We have become desensitized to debt and all that it encompasses. Unable to make financial decisions based on what s best for their household. We just spend and spend. Its greed and the ability to have those needs and insecurities quenched instantly that have us in the shape we are in now.
We see the prosperity gospel today is so popular because it feeds on our greed and insecurities. 1st Timothy 6:3-10 teaches us about money and what it does to us. It "drowns men in destruction and perdition." Its very powerful warning. Greed and debt. Insecurities. No wonder the top thing married couples fight about is money, and we wonder why divorce rates are so high among Christians. The 90's poet Biggie Smalls said "more money, more problems." Its so true. Stewardship with what God has given us is the most important. Its no secret that my church is struggling finically. Why? Previous bad financial choices. The church chose to be in debt. We still are and will be for a time to come. People say "Why are you struggling so bad finically?" My answer is , God is teaching us about patience and stewardship. No bones about it. We must learn that greed is not the answer. Contentment is. Timothy tells us the answer to greed and insecurities is contentment. Contentment is defined as, "a state of happiness and satisfaction" Well, Timothy tells us contentment is the answer. God provides and we have to learn to be happy with what we have. To practice stewardship with what we are blessed with. Timothy tells us that we are not taking anything with us when wwe leave this world. So why focus on it so importantly while we are here?

Ego, Greed and Lust. Struggles Facing Men Today

I was at a men's conference this past weekend at First Baptist Church of Woodstock. It was fun, insightful and uplifting to see so many men worshipping God together.  During one of the sessions Pastor Hunt spoke about the top 3 struggles that men face today. Ego and Pride, Greed and Lust.
The more I thought about these, the more that I see they are so prevalent in our society today. Lets cover these three topics.


Ego and Pride. One in the same yet different at times. As men we are a prideful bunch. We take pride in all sorts of things, such as our home, our toys, our sports, our kids, our wives, our intelligence, our jobs, our cars and others. That ego gets in our way more often than not. It makes us hard to deal with. It affects our horizontal relationships and friendships. It makes us say things we regret. It makes us tough guys. It makes communicating with our spouse difficult at times. It really does more damage than good. The word "ego" does not appear in the Bible. Now the idea of "ego" certainly appears in the Bible.  The word ego generally refers to an exaggerated sense of self-importance, which usually results is an excessive preoccupation with “self." The idea of "Self " is one of the biggest idols facing society today.  When it all becomes about you and not God, then we get in over our head. When the focus is on "I" then we start to loose out on God's true blessings. I am going to do this, I did that, I am a self made man. All those are focused on the "I" and not the HE.
Look to Isaiah 14:13-14. Here we see a description of Satan. Here its all about Satan and his ego. He thought of himself to be like God. It was his ego that led to his downfall, just like many men today. We live in a world where it is all to easy to become ensnared in this trap. Society for the most part is about the ego. Look around you. Most everything is geared towards your ego. That's why they make $100k sport cars. They tell us men that sexual conquest is a measurement of manhood. We are told that we have to look a certain way, have certain jobs, live certain places. All of those are just ways to stumble over the ego. Just like Satan did. He was a heavenly being at one time but his ego caused his downfall and removal from heaven. So what about us puny humans?
The answer is humility. We have to see ourselves for who we really are. Sinners who are separated from God. Totally unable to save ourselves. Being humble is what Micah 6:8 tells us to do. An example for you football fans. Lane Kiffin, the outspoken former coach at USC was recently hired at the University of Alabama. Fans were in an uproar. He's too brash, he wont fit at Bama, he will ruin the program. I heard them all. During signing day at the University he was introduced to a thunderous applause and he was visual  very emotional  at the reception he was given. He thank the crowd while holding back the tears. Why? Well when you are fired from your job at the airport and left there with your bag and no ticket home, that will humble you. Then he was given another chance at one of the top programs in the nation.
The parallels with God and our pride should be very noticeable. Our ego causes us to stumble but God in all his glory uses that stumbling block to teach us, show his love, his mercy and his grace. Its hard for men  out there in the world. We have so much responsibilities as husbands, fathers, friends, workers and heads of households. That ego can rear its ugly head at any time. So pray for us men, that we can truly be a man of God.